


i wish i were with you

by sabrinaspellmans



Category: Archie Comics, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018), Sabrina the Teenage Witch, The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
Genre: F/M, basically sabrina being traumatized and depressed after harvey’s death, set in the tcaos comic universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 17:49:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15801561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabrinaspellmans/pseuds/sabrinaspellmans
Summary: Sometimes Sabrina would wake up screaming.





	i wish i were with you

Sometimes Sabrina would wake up screaming.

She would jump up from her bed, still in a dream hazed panic, with tears streaming down her cheeks and a scream caught in her throat. 

Her first thought would always be about him. She would sob out his name into the shadows of her dark room, as if he could hear her calling out to him.

“Harvey,” she would cry, her throat tight.

And she would say his name over and over, bringing her knees to her chest as she wept. She would pull at the unwashed strands of her short, white hair and scream for it to stop, scream for him to come back.

She hadn’t meant to let her hair become such a disheveled mess; that was just the result of her spending so many days in a row stuck in bed, confined to her stuffy room. She couldn’t even muster up the energy to zap a quick spell to clean herself up. She felt too heavy to do anything at all. 

Sometimes she would dream about that night, the night of her sixteenth birthday. The night of her baptism to the Church of the Night. The night Harvey died.

In her dreams, she would see Harvey stumbling into the clearing of the woods, a look of shock and horror crossing over his face as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. She would see herself screaming at him to run! Get out of here!

And then she would see him get torn to shreds in front of her all over again.

Other times, she dreamt that he was still alive. She dreamt that his death was nothing but a nightmare, a freakish daydream that was nothing but fiction, and that Harvey was outside her house, sitting in his car and waiting to take her to school. She would hop inside and kiss him sweetly, telling him how she missed him. Then she would look back at him again and his face would be covered in blood. 

And she would wake up, screaming and crying all over again.

And oh, it hurt. It was like there was a hole in her chest, an ever present emptiness that she couldn’t get rid of no matter how hard she tried. The feeling weighed her down permanently. It caused her to grow quieter and more reserved at school, barely allowing her to focus on her work. All she could think about was Harvey, and how he was gone forever.

The feeling was worse at night. Sabrina would sit on her bed, guilt and sadness gnawing at her insides. She would think about how it was her fault Harvey was dead. Because of her, she would never be able to see Harvey again. She would never kiss him, or watch him smile or tell him she loved him again. All of that was over.

Sometimes her memories of him felt like a past life.

As the days passed, it became harder to differentiate her dreams from reality. In the back of her mind, she would think, maybe it wasn’t real. Maybe Harvey never existed. Her memory of him grew foggier and foggier, and she often found herself forgetting details that she used to know by heart.

The nightmares were the only reminder that he was real.

Sometimes, after Sabrina had cried herself out and was too exhausted to continue, Salem would jump onto the foot of her bed and ask if she was okay. Sabrina would simply look at him through teary, swollen eyes before turning away and falling into an uneasy sleep, still curled up into herself.

“I’m really worried about Sabrina.” Salem would tell Ambrose afterwards, his voice laced with uneasiness.

“I am too.” Ambrose would sigh, running a hand through his dark hair. “I just... I just don’t know what to do for her. I don’t know how to help her.”

“I don’t think we can.” 

And they couldn’t. Sabrina didn’t think anyone could. Not Salem, not Ambrose and _definitely_ not her aunts— they were the ones trying to just make her forget about him entirely. Her aunts would tell her over and over again about how she needed to get over it already, how mortal lives are so insignificant anyway, how she was being “overdramatic” about it all.

Over time Sabrina learned to just shut their comments out.

The days continued dragging on, and Sabrina never felt better. She still woke up terrified each night, she still cried into her pillow, she still felt numb and empty and so, so guilty.

 _Harvey, Harvey, Harvey, Harvey..._  

Her thoughts echoed his name, and her chest ached with every sob.  _Please come back._

She had started considering trying to find some kind of spell or potion that would make her stop feeling the way she did, to make her just forget so could find the solace she so desperately needed in her situation. But the thought of that, of just forgetting what happened to Harvey and letting go of her feelings entirely, was even scarier to her than remembering. She didn’t want to lose the memory of him. She didn’t want to forget how he used to make her feel, how she loved him so.

_I wish I were with you._

And Sabrina would fall asleep again with the tears still wet on her face.


End file.
